Descendant of Sin

Why this darkness dominated the self
Even i don't understand
Why the life must face the darkness
I wish i know
Human bonds is like a Pandora box
With single touch it can change the life
Like the rise of the curtain on the stage
Like the intro within the music
It can bring the light of life and youth
Or it can awaken the darkness in the self
The bonds is strong yet very fragile
It is strong
To help people from falling to despair
Yet it's fragile
Just single matter and everything is over
And the backlash from it was heavy
It was painful
My Bond with my family
Is crumbling down by a single word
A simple word called expectation
Making the self so scared
That this one might become a disappointment
My Bond with my old Friends
Are crumbling down
By simple word of disappointment
They talked bad of me behind me
Treating this self as a dense idiot
Looking down on me with their smiles
Leaving me behind on everything
Treating this self as an extra
Even i admit that friendship is warm
The pain from it also quite strong
And my encounter with three matters
Likes, love and affection
Building strange new sensation in the self
Giving me the awe and admiration
Bittersweet taste within this tale
Gantung me courage to stand up one more time
But the crumble cause the worst pain
It made this one fall to the darkness
Making this one commit the sins
Seven deadly sins of the ancient Lore
Because of the pain
I commit the sin of Luxuria
In order to create an artificial warmth
For this pitiful self on the stage
I commit the sin of Gula
To mend and forget the pain inside
I commit the sin of Acedia
To ease the pain of a broken heart
I indulge myself in sin of Ira
For myself who gave up so easily
For myself who couldn't be someone else
Who can bear any expectation of others
But this one also have Avarithia's sin
That i want to have the one doesn't belong to myself
At the same time
I hold the sin of Invidia
To the protagonist in your love story
To the people hold i wanted to have
To the people who can mend their heart fast
To my innocent self
Who knows nothing about the world
And I hide everything for Superbia' sin
I cover everything with fake smiles
I build a scenario for everything
Acting like happy-go-lucky people
Building a huge gap in the Paradox
Light and darkness
Hope a d despair
And thanks to those pain i gave up
On life
On the fate
On myself
Expectation is heavy
Betrayal is painful
Solitude is cold
If i cast away those feeling
I wonder if i my heart Wil stop aching
Maybe i'll stay here for now
In this imaginary four walls around me
Hiding, crying, and then forgetting
Everything which started the Bond
Like pressing the reset button
Which can't be Pressed by none
Who hold something called desire

Lamentation of Darkness

Dear sky, dear earth
O my dream, o great world
Why my chest felt this unspoken words
Throwing this one into confusion
What is love?
What is Justice?
Where's hope?
Where's freedom?
I can't understand the relationship
They gave me warmth
But they also gave me pain the most
Happiness seems always around me
But the pain inside is also reality
All i had seen is darkness
All just to proof the humankind is evil
Those who sat on the throne
Look at the world with greed and pride
Those who walk on the muddy earth
Close their heart to find something to eat
Those who hold the amazing titles
Gained their game by evil means
Those who hold the uncountable wealth
Moves their body by their lust and desire
Those who stand at the average
Just move with the flow and envy
Why these eyes only see the darkness
Why this one have to see the madness
Am i just a witness of destruction?
Or everything i had seen is just illusion?
Dear scholars who knows many things
Dear people who doesn't possess anything
Why these eyes can't stop crying
Over the meaningless sight of fighting
These heart had started to crumble
This mind slowly moves to insanity
At one side i wish for the warmth
Of the relationship within the memories
But at the other side i was afraid
Of hurting others
Of being hurt by others
By being betrayed
Or betrayed other's expectation
I even want to hug myself at the corner
And seal myself inside the solitude
The world where everything is cold
Where none is hurt
Where nobody is betrayed
Where i can't see anyone fight
Where i can't say words of envy
O world
What shall i do to face them?
O people,
Who shall i to condemn?
Dear justice, hope and freedom
Where the hell i can find them?
Why nobody seems avoid peace?
Why the truth seems absurd?
And why those who shed blood of others
Are look like someone absolute?
Dear lords of the throne
Why there are so many who cried?
Dear Guardians of justice
Why i can't find a little speck of peace?
I felt very lost
Like a simple wandering ghost
I wonder what is life?
Is that just a simple Grand lies?
To the poet who stand with me
To the people who can understand me
How do i escape this absurdity?
How can i be free from this Paradox of misery?

Yami no kokoro

Once again the night filled the sky
Giving chills with the tearless cry
Even not a soul is willing to pry

Once again darkness dominated the self
Creating ego of the limitless desire
Ignoring the glimpse of hope and seeks for despair
It was like I had kept a devil in the heart

My eyes are blinded
By the bitter truth called reality
My ears are clogged
By the voice of the critism

They told me about the sky i'll never reach
They compared me to the Hero from the next door
They measured my intelligence against the scholars out there
They always telling me to be someone they desire

Darkness within my heart screamed
Casing the mind into confusion
Making the justice changing direction

In their eyes i'm unsightly
In their perception i am wrong
In their justice i'm evil
In their life i am outsider

What i desire is peace
What i yearn is justice
What i dreamed is freedom
What i want is wisdom

Alkasha

Ah, welcome, o my visitors. My name is Evilla Shin Paradox. I'm standing here because for today i will be your guide in my world.
This room is just an ordinary shabby room. But, inside this shabby room, i can guide you to my world. Now take a deep breath several times.
I will warn you beforehand. Only those who can keep up with my imagination who will be able to see the entire scene and land.

All begin from nothing yet it still not become anything 

Not even a speck of hope can be seen from it

All that begin from nothing shall never be anything 

That's the fact of the bitter reality 

All that just left is just fragments of dreams

When it comes to you

All that starts from nothing seems turn into something 

Dream or reality 

All seems the same upon our encounter 

I feel somehow i realize that i yearn for a change

Somehow it feels strange 

Upon seeing your smile and laughter

Kindness and beauty, strength and sincerity

I somehow see a different side of this world 

Destiny, fate, or coincidence

Everything had happened, everything i have felt

Suppose that all i've seen is a dream

Upon the sky i wish to never wake up

Come and chant with me

The call of the lost child 

Phase 1

Dear lost child,
Dear the world,
May this one start with the greeting.
This one welcome thee to this one's world
Take thy breath and listen
Thy heartbeat started to calm down
Thy mind shall start to become serene
Calm thy mind, relax thy soul
This one won't harm thee
Dear sweet child, come, go with me
Such beautiful game i'll play with thee
Come and enjoy with me
The dark paradise with no tears and blood
The dark land with no fake smile or deceit
Welcome to my darkness
Welcome to the land of madness

Greeting

As a beginning, shall this one start with a greeting for you.
Greeting...
This one is a nameless poet
This one is a person who had been drownong in the darkness
My existence tainted by sin
Why do you think i Said so?
That is because i think i was cursed since long ago
I somehow can't find anything i can trust
I lives in solitude
I drowned in my own darkness
I created my own nightmare
And finally i created the world for myself within my subconsciousness
I've been driven mad and i know it very well
I put on my mask in the society and reality
As my real self dived deeper and deeper into this darkness
O those who can this one's voice
Shall you feel the darkness within this self
Has you felt the darkness within thyself
Come and reach my hand
I shall show you the dark paradise i had created within this one's self